Charope- Infirmary
He smiled, and sat on the edge of the bed next to her, taking her into a hug gratefully.
"Yes, thanks to YOU. Persephone surely would have killed me if you hadn't been there."
:: It had been so long since she'd been in such close physical proximity to Zach. Funny how disaster can remind you of how to relate to the people you care about most::
"It's good you finally came around to Vivica, she's a good person, you know.
Yes, I've come to see that about her.
She's sincere.
:: She looks up at the message on the wall monitor again.::
And thoughtful.
She's also clearly committed to the Birds of Prey, and that's good for her that she found something "outside" of the Six. ESPCIALLY NOW.
I've gone from being unable...UNWILLING to tolerate her, and wondering what the point of her existence was, to now trusting her and having a sincere appreciation for the way she applies herself.
I'm glad there's still time for us to be able to work together.
:: Still looking at the screen::
And maybe even support each other in critical ways in a...post-cameron world.
He slid off the edge of the bed, and back into the arm chair beside it.
"Alright, listen. My near death experience has motivated me to make amends, so I've got some things I need to say, and maybe we can come back to understanding each other, Alycia. I think you're operating under some incorrect assumptions about the dynamic between Haleigh and myself. Recently, I realized neither of us were happy, and we'd grown apart, and that she was stringing me along because she didn't want to hurt me, and I was letting her do it because I didn't want to let her go. So I ended it last week, and that was fucking HARD, because I had to accept that even though I loved her with all my heart, she'd given HER heart to HIM [Cameron], long before she gave him her body, and to me, that's worse than them just sleeping together."
Talking about it was becoming more difficult, and he had to stop to clear his throat.
:: No wonder she tapped him to succeed her in some of her functions when she vacated her special federal agent position. He always seemed to know when the time was to broach a sensitive topic. But he was coming from a real, sincere place, and with all Alycia had been through, it made sense for her to identify with him right now in this moment.::
I see. Well. You were a lot smarter than I was. You got yourself OUT. YOU took control and changed course.
I should've known during the preparation for Blaze's debutante party, when Cameron made some stupid, half assed excuse about the need to "resolve things" with Haleigh, and I warned him THEN, that he was wasting his, AND my time, trying to paint her as some helpless sheep when really she was the WOLF in the forest and HE was the sheep. That very night that you and I were on the roof of the Parthenon, before going down to Lotus, the two of them had their first round of "settling things"...aka TONSIL HOCKEY. Haleigh came to tell me about it almost immediately after it happened, but it was telling that CAMERON never did. SHARON knew about it...but she didn't say anything to me.
I verbally eviscerated Haleigh that night. I should've marched right up to Cameron's apartment and done the same thing to him, and dismissed him then and there.
If only I'd had the foresight...to get out of the way of their trainwreck.
Instead...I listened to him as he talked so sweetly. From the very beginning, since my return to "man's world" during the Blue Moon, I let him CHARM me, and lead me down some...demented yellow brick road.
I let him...BOTH of them make a FOOL of me.
:: She turned away from Zach, as she shut her eyes, and tears began to fall.::
And when he TOLD me what they'd done...the night she revealed the truth about herself to the Six, he had the unmitigated gall to declare that he had NO REGRET over he did, Zach. He told me SHE[Haleigh] was WORTH IT!
That...that SELFISH, UNFEELING, TWO FACED WRETCH!
I hate them BOTH. They deserve each other. In HELL.
But I...I'm ANGRY with MYSELF for letting them PLAY me like this.
I'm SMARTER than this. I NEVER should've let myself get involved w/ a man who had the kind of history HE had with Haleigh. But...that was just the second act of another bad mistake, which was dilluting myself into thinking I had an actual FRIENDSHIP with HER! Most NORMAL people BOND over the kind of experiences she and I had. ::Referring to Arklay, and certain other shared experiences::
I thought that's what was happening to US.
Another lie. Another facade. Another JOKE.
:: She said bitterly before sighing, and turning back over to look at Zach::
My anger toward you has largely been misplaced. I was angry with you because you KNEW what she was capable of, and you loved her anyway. Well that was irrational of me, and it was me projecting my own dismay over loving Cameron on to you.
Some of it was also RESENTMENT over the fact that you got yourself OUT of the way of their trainwreck, but I didn't do that for myself in time.
I was HUMILIATED...and I...hoped that I might rely on you, I hoped you'd rely on ME, like we promised.
:: She trembled a bit as her grief came to the surface.::
But there you were...with Ashley...and I just couldn't understand how you could go from the frying pan to the fire like that. I thought that WE would be there for one another, when the DARKNESS of Cameron and Haleigh became too much...too immobilizing for us...
:: She felt so weak right now in admitting this::
It seemed that everyone was getting what they wanted...what they needed...except me.
And yes, I DO resent Ashley. She's a cruel, cantankerous bitch who has no respect for anyone.
I thought you'd had your FILL of women who behave badly with HALEIGH.
Maybe it seems...intrusive to you...for me to say something like that. But I've known you for along time. I CARE about you...and I just...I just thought that after Haleigh, you DESERVED BETTER.
Zach...you and I have been in each other's lives for YEARS. We watched, and stood by the Six. We went from being passive observers, to being allies, to being evacuees at the midnight hour...to being on the FRONT LINES with them. We sort of..."GREW UP" together with them. We've ended up working together in key roles and functions outside of the six, doing GOOD work that benefits the mutant population.
Can you BLAME me for being even just a LITTLE emotionally invested in YOU?
:: And in that moment, he'd register something from her regarding him that he hadn't perceived before, and with her being AWARE of his abilities, she immediately became nauseated at the realization that he'd register it::
Can you understand how it looked...and FELT for me, NOW that I've told you this?
But maybe that's my problem. Maybe I've lost my way and become WEAK.
:: she turned away from him once again, trying her best to retain what she felt was her lest shred of dignity, as tears continued to fall from her hazel eyes::
I could've gone ANYWHERE when I emerged from Themyscira, reborn as an Amazon. I didn't HAVE to come back to the Six, or anything associated with them.
I think that was my first, and BIGGEST mistake of all. I let nostalgia, and the belief that I could do MORE as an amazon lead me to make a choice that really hasn't worked out well for me, and now I'm laying here...pouring out my heart to a man who was once engaged to a woman who has never had respect for other people's relationships- MINE included- OR their needs, hopes...and feelings. Watching him cultivate ANOTHER relationship with a woman who is INFINITELY WORSE than Haleigh, hoping that we would have remained true to our promise to one another.
:: Sigh::
Hyppolyte named me "brilliant confrontation," ...but maybe I'm just a "smart fool" who gets her signals botched BIG TIME when it comes to these people- The Six, The Birds of Prey.
please, believe me when I say that I understand why you feel betrayed by them, because I've had to feel HER emotions about it for a long time, and I'm just now coming to terms with it. So for the record, this isn't about sex for me, not when it comes to her, okay? I don't want to be her lover anymore, I can't subject myself to that torment, but that doesn't change the way I feel about her as an actual PERSON. How could I NOT love her, still? Despite her defection, despite my HORROR with regards to what she's OBVIOUSLY being coerced to do, I have FAITH in her, because I KNOW that deep down, pinned beneath the MONSTER she's becoming to power her way through this, she LOVES us all enough to do whatever she thinks it takes, and she will go to the ends of the UNIVERSE for the people she cares about. I mean come on, we're talking about a woman who has laid down her life for one of ours several times before-- and she will probably do it several times more, after we RESCUE HER from the hell she's in."
He searched her eyes for a moment, and reached to take her hand.
:: Alycia looked at Zach with an aghast expression on her face.::
"The ends of the universe!?"
::But this moment they were having was too important for her to "check out." After what they'd BOTH just survived? they deserved this moment, and in order for anything to happen, in order for them to FIND each other again, she'd have to face this with her eyes and her heart open, even when she heard things that were mind bending! she hoped he would do the same.::
:: she accept his hand's grasp, and held on to his hand with her own::
Do you really believe that she's being...COERCED? EITHER OF THEM?
:: She asked as she dared to take this journey of thought with him::
Sharon saw them at the Black Out party. You heard what she said when Sharon confronted her!
:: She shakes her head for a moment, and he feels her tense up.::
No. I won't give her a pass for what she did to me. She WASN'T being coerced when she decided to INVADE my relationship. Neither was Cameron. She WASN'T being coerced when she lead me to believe that we had become something more than uneasy allies, that there was TRUST there, that we'd actually become FRIENDS.
How can I believe that she ever loved or cared about me after the emotional russian roulette she engaged in? That's ABUSE, Zach. She abused YOU TOO in that way!
She's never shown any respect or consideration for other people's relationships, what matters to them, what they might need. She'll do ANYTHING if she thinks it will achieve the results SHE wants. She's stated it quite clearly on more than one occassion.
:: She insisted::
Even if she's being coerced by Malice NOW, she most certainly wasn't being coerced THEN!
:: If Zach wanted to lead her down this road, he was going to have to be there WITH her on that journey. She WOULD be true to her amazonian name, and challenge him. But this time, it was NOT in the spirit or emotion of ANGER. ::
"I KNOW that you can understand the way I feel, Alycia..... because I know it's the same way YOU FEEL..... about Sharon. You'd NEVER give up on Sharon, not while there was a breath left in your lungs, not even if it seemed like she went completely insane and rampaged through the city again."
:: She felt a jolt as he drew comparisons to the love, compassion he had, and her's for Sharon. Oh god was he ever right...but::
Sharon died in my arms.
:: She said, with a pained expression on her face::
But not even in DEATH was she safe from Mystech. They revived, and MUTATED her. She WAS insane, Zach. That wasn't her fault, and she DID need help.
HALEIGH is NOT insane.
Zach said:
And I would never ask you to forsake her, because I know what it means to love someone THAT MUCH. So even if you are upset with Haleigh for what she's done --that's fine, you have every right-- but I need you to cut ME some slack here, because I can't hate her, OR Ava..... when I know they are suffering."
Your love for Haleigh and Ava almost got you...AND me killed!
You're asking a TALL order from me, Zach Armani.
:: She looks at him::
But...I care about you, maybe more than I should, and I don't want to waste this chance that Isis has given BOTH of us. If that's what you need from me, I can give you that. I can cut YOU some slack.
But what about me? You want me to just...act like I haven't head my heart CUT OUT and STOMPED ON because Haleigh MIGHT "go to the ends of the universe" for the people she cares about IF she's saved? That sounds a lot like the demented premise of christianity, suffer now, for the promise of eternal life. NO THANK YOU. I feel that once again, I'm being asked to give, but will receive little in the way of consideration in return, and Zach...I'm SICK of watching people like Haleigh and Ashley be rewarded....or getting a pass for their BAD BEHAVIOR!
I shouldn't have to act like an ill mannered, boorish wench in order to be appealing to you OR for you to remember OUR history.
For the time that's left...for whatever's going to happen. I'll....cut YOU some slack. But you need to remember who I am...and who we said we were to each other.
I need...
:: She HATED being in a position where she had to say she needed anything from anyone...especially a man::
...support...I need....
BAH!
:: she abruptly pulls her hand away from Zach, and draws up, shaking her head::
I'm not going to expose myself! That's what left me with all this PAIN I'm in NOW!
For the time that's left, I WILL cut you some slack.
::But as Alycia's heart began to harden, the decision she was supposed to make about her staying with the Birds of Prey was suddenly crystalizing, and zach was picking up on it. It wasn't good::
Was she even listening? He only had one thing left to try. Would it wreck Haleigh's plan? Probably. But deep down he knew he didn't want her to succeed, not like this, not if it meant they would all lose her forever.
"I know that you think Haleigh's evil, end of story.... but you only see what she's SHOWN YOU. You're reacting exactly the way she WANTS YOU TO, you haven't even tried to look deeper.
Did SHE think "deeply" about what she was doing in the parthenon garage? no...she was too busy letting CAMERON go deep.
Zach said:
Malice is CLEARLY forcing her to attack us -- but CAN'T you see what she's doing? She's not just blindly attacking WHOEVER. Her moves thus far have been strategic.
Zach, MALICE doesn't attack people blindly, you know that. So of course Black Widow wouldn't do it either. What Malice DOES, is strike to inflame anxiety, despair, distress, all the things that weaken a person, and remove their ability to be effective, and THEN, after "tenderizing" her foes, she moves in for the kill.
:: But Zach pressed on, and it was rather astonishing, what he said::
Zach said:
She's on a SUICIDE MISSION, Alycia. She's making sure you ALL have a reason to fight her! She needs you all to hate her, she wants you all to kill her.
That's ABSURD! HALEIGH suicidal?? I can't imagine her EVER wanting to remove herself, she spends so much time TAKING what she wants for herself!
Zach said:
And I can prove it to you.
:: He was appealing to her sensibility as a lawer::
How?
Zach said:
That sex tape she sent me had a MESSAGE. I wouldn't be surprised if she gave Bishop a message too, one way or another. We need a proper debriefing from him on exactly what was said and how the confrontation happened, start to finish."
:: Alycia stared at him in disbelief...but he was SINCERE in his belief, and after everything they'd just endured, it certainly couldn't HURT them to explore this angle.::
Well...Sharon told me that there was was video feed playing on the wall mounted tv in his apartment when she and Delilah found him. It would be easy enough to retrieve that.
As you know, Bishop is HERE, as my...house guest. So meeting with him certainly won't be an issue.
But before that happens Zach, there's something else we need to discuss too.
Rose.
:: She looked at him, with a softer facial expression::
I need her portfolio back.
Sharon and I...we have to renew our efforts on her behalf, change our approach. We missed the mark, but I'm convinced now more than ever that I should resume handling her portfolio.
She can't be "tabled" in favor of Haleigh, not after what Haleigh did to Jake, and I'm...concerned, that you may not be able to effectively advocate or assist Rose because of your feelings regarding Haleigh and Persephone.
I'm not saying this to insult you, OR punish you.
But you know she and her children are now facing a serious threat from Dennis Nedry, one that I am qualified to NEUTRALIZE.