Gentlemen, out of curiosity:

[Black Widow]

A couple of friends and I were having one of those relationship conversations today... you know how they go.... anyway, we got on the topic of the transition of a relationship from the 'pursuit' stage to the 'physical' stage, if you will. We were discussing all the expectations and buildup and what will make a transition successful... and what will make it a train-wreck. Actions [or attributes] that would make or break the experience, that sort of thing.

Now, the discussion was lively and wonderful, but it was kind of one-sided, being that all in attendance were female. The funny thing is... one can't just go ask the boyfriend, because the answer she gets will be tailored to what the guy thinks she wants to hear.... and while he may be partially honest, there can be no doubt that censory will be involved. And of course, asking a father is out of the question, the answer is always something like 'oh, he's been trying to get in your pants from day one, yada yada yada...'

So to satisfy my curiosity, gentlemen of the boards, if you don't mind, could you answer me honestly?

Hypothetically: Let's say you've been dating a girl for a few weeks. [and by dating, I mean you've been out to dinner, the movies, maybe a lunch or two, you hang out casually sometimes, and you both intend to continue on this way.] Your chemistry, as a couple, is off the charts. She's hot, you're hot, you're both hot together. You get the idea. You think your relationship might be getting to the point where you're ready to sleep together.

As a side note: Some people believe that in a serious relationship, falling in love with the person would/should come before having sexual relations with them. Some would just rather get it over and done with so you both can focus on getting to know one another without those hormones in the way. I, for one, fall somewhere in between. Love isn't required... but, I enjoy the journey at least as much as the destination. The sexual tension, the pent up frustration, the teasing appeal of the unknown, all that. The only requirement for me, then, would be trust. So, on that measure, lets assume whatever you personally require for a relationship to become sexual has been met.

What kinds of expectations do you have? What, for you, would make or break the experience?

The question is as open ended as possible. [also, I realize finding out she has a penis would be a deal-breaker, but what short of that, LOL]

 

[Rampage]

I wil skip the truth about the really wanting to screw from the beginning, LOL.

For me, I have found that a startling number of women don't really know what to do in bed, and many others think their job begins and ends with them getting their legs open and settling in on their backs or bent over. but that can be dealt with.

What is unacceptable to me has always been the ladies who have 20 rules about what they will and will not do, somehow believing that their feeble offering of sex should suffice. Those women do not get called back. Some got quickly tapped with me calling the cleanup batter before they could dress to leave.

Ladies, if you are going to trust someone enough to swap body fluids, be woman enough to take in the entire experience. be willing to learn. Understand that we may be relatively easy to satisfy, but also easily put off by halfheartedness.

Oh and one last thing. If you are still not giving head...abandon all hope. You have lost the arms race of sex.

 

[Black Widow]

I will skip the truth about the really wanting to screw from the beginning, LOL.

Want to know a little secret? SHE HAS TOO!

The whole courting stage is a prelude to sex, and while she may not be thinking about it as OFTEN as you, she's definitely thought a good deal about it, LOL. I've never dated a guy I haven't wanted to sleep with from the beginning. That's what I find funny.... guys who think they have to get the girl to want to sleep with them. She already wants to sleep with you or she wouldn't be dating you. What you're working toward is the point where she's comfortable enough with who you are as a person to be confident that she's not going to get burned.

My dad has always been telling me to watch out, be careful, he's only trying to have sex with you, that's all he wants, etc. What I don't tell him is that it's a MUTUAL desire, and the idea is not offputting. In fact.... it's a turn on. Nothing makes a person feel sexier than knowing that someone wants you that way.

For me, I have found that a startling number of women don't really know what to do in bed, and many others think their job begins and ends with them getting their legs open and settling in on their backs or bent over. but that can be dealt with.

Interesting you should say that. I think that notion is fed by the social stigma that it's the guy's job to do the 'giving' and the girl's job to do the 'receiving' in a sexual situation. But that's a load of crap. Sex[and a relationship in general] is best when there is equal give and take from both sides.

What is unacceptable to me has always been the ladies who have 20 rules about what they will and will not do, somehow believing that their feeble offering of sex should suffice. Those women do not get called back. Some got quickly tapped with me calling the cleanup batter before they could dress to leave.

While I understand some people just aren't comfortable doing certain things, I can definitely see how that would be a problem. Of course, we gals don't usually run into that sort of thing. The problems we get are the unattentive, single-track mind partners. It's like, HELLO, just because I've got my legs wrapped around you doesn't mean you should forget the REST of me, thank you. And then, I've run into the one that talks TOO DAMN MUCH. Him: 'Are you okay? Is this good? Are you sure?' Me: 'Are you trying to talk me OUT of it??'

Ladies, if you are going to trust someone enough to swap body fluids, be woman enough to take in the entire experience. be willing to learn. Understand that we may be relatively easy to satisfy, but also easily put off by halfheartedness.

I'm sorry, but you've actually had a problem with halfheartedness? That just sounds like a bad sexual partner, imo. Lol, don't blame it on the fact she's a girl, she's just bad in bed! LMAO

Oh and one last thing. If you are still not giving head...abandon all hope. You have lost the arms race of sex.

LOL. That goes both ways. There's nothing worse than a guy unwilling to reciprocate.

 

[Karma]

well im a bitch (beautifull, talented, intelligent, cunning, honorable OR Babe In Total Control of Herself)

and anything that i may do with a man is by MY choosing and because I will enjoy it. if he doesnt doesnt understand that, then he can move on LOL.

to put it simply: i've been in a kind of "sex & the city" mindset ever since i recovered from a trauma i experienced several years ago and while I'm not QUITE on the level of "Samantha"...i'd say i'm a cross between "Samantha" and "Miranda" ..and for some men that's just more than their egos can take LOL!


my question has ALWAYS been..why do men go into relationships with some kind of slant that places the burden of satisfaction on the woman? if YOU are pursuing ME then YOU have the burden, NOT I.

 

[Persephone]

^^ You know it's funny, i'm kinda in that phase right now too. But obviously not as extreme as Samantha LOL. I'm not looking for a relationship, but i'm more than willing to have fun. I mean, why the hell not? What rule is there that says you can only have sex when you're in a relationship? Single woman need pleasing too people. lol But nooo, woman are considered 'whores' who do that.

And LOL Lexi, at the "Him: 'Are you okay? Is this good? Are you sure?' Me: 'Are you trying to talk me OUT of it??'" thing LOL. That is too damn funny. I haven't come across a guy like that yet. lol