Gathering at the clock tower

[Artemis]

Clocktower- Alycia's floor

He could feel her disappointment, her sadness, her shame, and he sighed heavily.

"Stop being so damned hard on yourself, Alycia. CAMERON is to blame for what HE DID to you. HE deceived you, HE cheated on you, HE failed the relationship, NOT YOU."

That's like telling someone with an anxiety disorder NOT to worry. Where I am today, is because of the standard I hold myself to!

But don't you see? I've never let a man play me before...and I wasted my time on him...AND Haleigh.

:: she said as she looked away::

"ONE EMPATHIC FLASH?! You have NO IDEA what it's like for me Alycia. You have NO IDEA what it's like, to be subject to the emotions of every person in the vicinity. So don't even, with that. And I've 'been around', Alycia. I was here at the Clocktower last night, when he came to pick her up. He dampened her mood THEN too, but I let it go, because I TRIED to give him the benefit of the doubt. All I ended up giving him was a chance to hurt her worse."

You're right. I don't know, so maybe I better be more mindful, so I don't treat you the way so many people treat Alison regarding her precognition.

But do you have any idea how it feels for ME? to watch other people...especially WOMEN...get away with breaking the rules, violating ethics, being NASTY....and still BENEFITING FROM IT. No accountability...no JUSTICE. To be expected to work along side a woman who routinely mocks and dismisses myself and Sharon? I don't need to prove anything to HER! I knew Zizi, John, and yourself LONG before she did. I've worked with ALL of you, and in the case of YOU....I had a long standing personal friendship. Why should Sharon and I submit to her FOOLISH attempt at "hazing"...or WHATEVER it is!? I wouldn't have put up with that ANYWHERE ELSE, WHY do you want me to put up with it NOW? THAT'S another reason why I'm so resentful and ANGRY with you now.

:: On to the topic of Rose::

He laughed, sarcastic and bitter.

"OH HO HO, yes, TOO BAD I wasn't invited to THAT little soiree at the Sanctuary... you might have heard, I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM THERE. That MIGHT be why you haven't seen much of me lately. You've been spending all your time there, hanging out with your new bestie ROSE, who, I am SO SURE, has just the nicest things to say about me right now."

:: Alycia scoffed, throwing her hands up as she immediately rose out of her seat and went by the window/wall::

"OH HO HO" INDEED.

And THERE we have it! Not only are you still mad about Rose banning you from Jake and the Sanctuary, you BLAME Sharon and I for not being able to get her to change her mind!

:: she turned around and marched right over to him, pointing her finger::

How DARE you!

:: She didn't have to be an empath to know he didn't believe she and Sharon were trying, it was written all over his face!::

You ACTUALLY think that I'm just..."spending time with my new bestie!?"

Do you KNOW what's been happening the last two days? That dinner wasn't "Just because." She was THANKING Gabe and Oracle for the HELP they'd give her. I was there because she ASKED Sharon and I to stay with her through the night, as she prepared to meet with Darren Hudson, as her legal counsel I NEEDED to be there.

MAYBE if you'd bothered to listen to the updates from ORACLE while you were so busy DEEP SEA DIVING with Oldenberg, and acting like the rest of the world STOPS for the two of you, you'd KNOW what's been going on!

I've been working my ASS off, first to help Rose navigate her meeting with Hudson, working with Gabe and his team to get her new security and defense system installed and online, and FENDING OFF Dennis Nedry, who paid her an unexpected VISIT.

Since you KNOW so much, KNOW THIS!

:: She GRABBED his hand, and using the techniques she learned from the Amazons, she immediately began to project the emotional impressions, which came with visual images of her encounter with Nedry. She knew there was a psychometric quality to his empathy power, allowing him to pick up emotions/feelings associated with a person's recent experience, and this would include impressions, images even.::

::FLASH!::

<< Lingering feelings which point to memories: Nedry standing there, leering at Alycia, licking his lips, lusting after her in a truly OBSCENE way, imposing upon her with his physical proximity, speaking to her in a manner with more than a little racially charged undertone, the sexual harrassment, the condescension, the threats to Rose and the children....>>

:: After she was SURE he received that little "transfer," She SHOVES Zach away from her with a fraction of her amazonian strength. it was DISGUSTSING for her to revisit, and she wanted ZACH to get a taste of it too. ::

This MEETING that I had tonight? Success was VITAL, and that's not what I got. The woman, despite owing a DEBT, refused to cooperate.

Now I'm set back, with that much less time to do that much MORE work. YOU don't know what's at stake because you used Rose Banning you as an EXCUSE to not care anymore, so you could spend all your time being SELFISH and laid up under ASHLEY.

Despite that? Sharon and I have been trying....BESEECHING Rose to lift her ban on YOU. EVERY DAY we plead your case. But we ALSO have to be SMART. Rose has never been so agreeable to the help that she's been accepted from Oracle and Gabe, until NOW.

We're making PROGRESS, but just like any complex case that I've worked in the courts, or when I was a federal agent, I have to handle this in STEPS.

What I'm doing right now isn't a GAME. This isnt "BESTIE TIME".

You've got YOUR nerve, MOCKING the WORK that I'm doing for Rose, trying to HELP HER to escape the crosshairs of this CORRUPT FAT FUCKER! You haven't ONCE bothered to check in with me about, like you USED TO, even when we WEREN'T on the same team. You could've heard this from ME directly, but you were too busy with that selfish COW.

:: AND of course, he had to defend that ill tempered bitch's honor. It was the most bizarre thing to hear!::

"That's ENOUGH, do you understand me? If you call her a bitch again, Alycia, so help me GODS, I WILL WALK OUT OF HERE, and that'll be the END of this friendship. And that applies to 'hussy', and 'slut', and 'whore', and whatever other demeaning words you've got for her. If you don't have anything nice to say about her, then don't say anything about her in front of me."

He said, the most grim tone, and a severe expression.

:: Alycia waved her hand and scoffed, rolling her hazel eyes::

YOU understand this. YOU make your choice. If I have to feel like I need to REMIND you of who Sharon and I were supposed to be to you BEFORE she showed up? Then maybe we were wrong about you all along.

"IT'S NOT, but it's CERTAINLY put me in a difficult position, because my FRIENDS refuse to do anything except HATE my girlfriend!"

I don' do ultimatums, Zach. You KNOW that. So if that's what you're laying out now? You can FORGET IT. I don't have to like her, she's given me NO REASON to. Sharon and I don't have to respect her! She doesn't respect US! She's prejudiced, she's rude, she's messy! and after everything I've been through? After the way people around me have reminded me that things like FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, and LOYALTY are such...DISPOSABLE and temporary qualities? I'm NOT AFRAID to lose you over her. We're pretty much THERE already.

It's become quite apparent to me since all this FUCKERY began that I can't trust hardly ANYONE ANYWAY, and I was STUPID to think that I could.

I'm starting to get a VERY clear realization of who I actually in my corner, and once I FINALLY recover from the PAIN that I'm in? I'll be FINE, with OR WITHOUT YOU.

Ashley a BULLY, she thrives on conflict and violence, and she has antagonized Sharon and Myself for NO OTHER REASON than the fact that we are AMAZONS. Most OTHER people would call that what it is...PREJUDICE, but of course YOU won't think she can do ANYTHING wrong. You OVERLOOK the things SHE does, and magnify ANY transgression by myself, Sharon or Dominique, real OR imagined. ANY sane man that would pick HER? And claim that SHE is GOOD and decent? I certainly do QUESTION his judgement!

:: she marches to the doors, intending to open them, and then THROW him out. But he quickly follows her and cuts off her path, standing in her way::

Are you REALLY trying me like this!?

:: She was ready to grab him by the collar and hurl him out into the hallway look a football!::

"You know what? I'm very sorry that you and her got off to a bad start. I wish there was something I could do about it, but all I can do is try to convince you to give her a chance. The crazy part is, Ashley is willing to work on this issue. She even approached Isis and thanked her for healing me."

He told her, and then she got fed up and tried to order him out, but he stubbornly defied her, because he wasn't ready to give up just yet. She went so far as to imply she'd PHYSICALLY force him out, and he just stared at her, 'waiting', his arms folded calmly. He told her to go ahead. She didn't. Instead she complained about having nothing, and he countered with: Xavier.

:: She corrected him about Xavier, sex didn't mean anything more than just that. SHE didn't know what, if ANYTHING she & Xavier were just now, so how could Zach? ::

"And wasn't your fling with Xavier a satisfying experience? You're making my point FOR ME."

:: what did HE know? he called Ashley his GIRLFRIEND! That alone was enough for Alycia to wonder if she should cut her losses. She was NOT about to be one of those people that had to tip toe around the two of them because he would get mad if anyone expressed disapproval of her, and if they couldn't be honest with each other? then there was no friendship worth salvaging.::

Look, there's TOO MUCH going on, TOO MUCH at stake! Everybody can't...SHOULDN'T behave like YOU, & HIDE OUT for DAYS ON END, having sex all the time, acting like the rest of the world doesn't exist.

Black Widow and Persephone are on the lose, and Rose needs help. YOU decided to neglect your responsibilities because you're MAD at Rose. But I can't do that! The need is great, and time is short!

"Well, perhaps you should just 'enjoy sex' with X on a regular basis. It's not really my business, but you deserve something nice. YOU are the one who won't let yourself have it. Keep it casual if you don't want something serious. Nobody's going to think any less of you."

I've heard this before...from Cameron. What a MISTAKE it was to trust HIM...

"Well I'M NOT Cameron. You keep talking about how longstanding our friendship is, yet you act like it means NOTHING when I come down here to try to salvage our friendship."

:: She turned away once more, and slowly walked to another section of the wall/window.::

:: several MINUTES of silence pass, before that silence is finally broken by her sighing::

What an awful place this is for me to be.

:: she said quietly::

And all because I...trusted a man.

:: She shut her eyes tightly::

All these stupid mistakes, tide to one choice...one man.

And now... I feel like I can't even do my job becuase I'm so off balance, and in so much pain!

I'm sorry, Zach.

:: she meant that::

You're not my enemy, or my opponent, and that's how I've been treating you. I've been punishing you for what I felt was you abandonning me. And maybe you don't understand what I mean when I say that. But that's okay. I see it clearly in my mind.

I just...wasted too much time.

"If I hurt you somehow, I'm sorry. But Alycia, I told you the other night at the Infirmary. We CAN be there for each other. We CAN look out for each other. We're still FRIENDS, or at least that's what I'VE been thinking this entire time. Imagine my surprise when you keep treating me like your opponent."

We're still friends.

I hope this isn't me compounding another mistake

:: she said quietly, almost hoping he didn't hear her::

But understand this...I don't pass out the title of "friend" like a grocery store coupon, Zach. Not everybody on this..."team"...is a friend. some are merely acquaintances and teammates.

I don't call everyone I know a FRIEND. I hope you get that. We have history, memories, we've had professional and personal highs and accomplishments....we've mourned terrible losses, and endured nightmares together.

:: and she asked one very personal question, but it was a fair one and she deserved this moment to ask it of him::

"Aly..."

He started, looking at her considerately.

"You're a very attractive woman, you're intelligent, you're strong. Any man would be lucky to have you."

He knew that wouldn't be a good enough answer, and he sighed.

:: she was still facing the wall/window, and she closed her eyes, keeping them closed. She probably WAS that woman- the woman who seemingly had everything going for her, but when it came to men? Not so much. That's probably why she always put that part of her life on the backburner so often. How stupid of her to let Cameron convince her to pay more attention to that. How FOOLISH of her to think that Zach would have been BETTER for her::

:: She frowns a bit with her eyes closed::

"There was a time, near the end of my relationship with Haleigh, when I knew I couldn't save it with her, because she loved Cameron too much. And I knew eventually they were going to find a way to be together, and that would leave you and me in the wake. Yes, I thought there could be something between us. But lately? We've seen a lot more of each other than usual, and we have been misfiring on all cylinders. We've misunderstood each other, we've hurt each other, we've disappointed each other. So maybe it's better that we never ruined our friendship by trying to make it something more."

Look how everything happened.

:: she said as she finally opened her slightly welled eyes::

I was..."off site" doing business when all of this happened. By the time I returned, EVERYONE had shifted due to the knowledge of what occurred, but ME.

And when I went to check on Cameron, THAT was what he greeted me with, he GLOATED and said he had NO REGRETS.

NO ONE in all of this has any regrets, except ME.

:: she trembles as her arms are crossed in front of her chest in an X pattern::

The timing was all wrong...and now...

:: A let down, no matter how gentle, is still a let down::

...well, I don't need to repeat it.

You said it all.

:: she finally turns to face him.::

I will not cry in front of him,

It was very considerate of you to come down here. I appreciate your care.

I'm sorry for mistreating you....punishing you even.

I'll change that.

:: there were alot of other things she'd be changing too::

We'll be fine.

:: the "walls" of "ice" were already forming around her heart. She was through trying to "have it all". Men were just not worth the risk, and they couldn't be handled the way a legal case or battle could be handled.::

:: She began to make her way toward the doors::

I need to rest now.

I have to regroup...find a new way to get the smoking gun I need to put Nedry to bed.

:: She thought about calling Sharon, or even Xavier...but not just now.::

 

[Orion]

The Clocktower -- Alycia's Suite

Alycia: OH HO HO INDEED! And THERE we have it! Not only are you still mad about Rose banning you from Jake and the Sanctuary, you BLAME Sharon and I for not being able to get her to change her mind! How DARE you!

"Of COURSE I'm still upset about that-- I CARE ABOUT JAKE! I CARE ABOUT THE SANCTUARY! I'm the one who ARRANGED for Clandestine Security for those kids! Rose just hacked away at that, because she lost her temper, and you and Sharon took her side and ostracized me!"

He shot back bitterly.

Alycia: I've been working my ASS off, first to help Rose navigate her meeting with Hudson, working with Gabe and his team to get her new security and defense system installed and online, and FENDING OFF Dennis Nedry, who paid her an unexpected VISIT.

"Well you wouldn't be working half as hard, if I was there to help and Clandestine was still handling security, I know that for damn sure!"

He countered, unwilling to let it go.

Alycia: Since you KNOW so much, KNOW THIS!

She said, and grabbed his hand. There was an overwhelming wave of disgust, and anger, not just because of his own empathic senses. Alycia was forcing memories of Nedry on him. Zach yanked his wrist away, gritting his teeth. He felt a bit violated, and he knew that was the point. It only served to frustrate him further.

"If I'd been around for that, Alycia, I'd have DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT. But I wasn't, because I'm banned."

He scowled.

Alycia: Now I'm set back, with that much less time to do that much MORE work. YOU don't know what's at stake because you used Rose banning you as an EXCUSE to not care anymore, so you could spend all your time being SELFISH and laid up under ASHLEY.

"I STILL CARE, GODS-DAMN IT! I can't do anything ABOUT IT though! How do you think that makes ME feel?! Useless and Frustrated, THATS HOW! But YOU are mad at ME for it all! What did you expect me to be doing, pacing in the foyer of the Clocktower like a little puppy, waiting for his owner to get back from the store?! It's not an excuse to say I can't help because you won't let me."

He replied in exasperation.

Alycia: Despite that? Sharon and I have been trying....BESEECHING Rose to lift her ban on YOU. EVERY DAY we plead your case. But we ALSO have to be SMART. Rose has never been so agreeable to the help that she's been accepted from Oracle and Gabe, until NOW.

"Oh, YES! GABE gets to help, isn't that just great. GALLANT GABE gets to slide right in, with his smug sense of self-righteousness, and his shitty second-rate security system! AS IF THAT'LL STOP HALEIGH FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS!!! We're LUCKY she hasn't been ordered to strike the Sanctuary again!"

He ranted, so OVER hearing about how helpful Gabe was being.

Alycia: You've got YOUR nerve, MOCKING the WORK that I'm doing for Rose, trying to HELP HER to escape the crosshairs of this CORRUPT FAT FUCKER! You haven't ONCE bothered to check in with me about, like you USED TO, even when we WEREN'T on the same team. You could've heard this from ME directly, but you were too busy with that selfish COW.

He gave her a look that said 'Don't Even.'

"The phones work both ways, Aly. You could've tried to include me, kept me updated, given me ANY mundane task to help, but NO, you just left me out, like an afterthought. You and Sharon decided to bench a star player, and now you're losing the game. Don't blame that on ME. YOU TWO were the ones who decided to pacify the emotionally unstable woman by forbidding the EMPATH from helping. And, yeah, you're absolutely right I've been here with Ashley. She's been making sure I wasn't left alone for a repeat attack by Persephone. Ash and I? We're two consenting adults, we can pass the time however we choose. And I GET IT, Alycia, you don't like her. There's no need for name calling, I've told you how I feel about that already."

Alycia: OH FUCK THAT BITCH!

That was the last straw.

"That's ENOUGH, do you understand me? If you call her a bitch again, Alycia, so help me GODS, I WILL WALK OUT OF HERE, and that'll be the END of this friendship. And that applies to 'hussy', and 'slut', and 'whore', and whatever other demeaning words you've got for her. If you don't have anything nice to say about her, then don't say anything about her in front of me."

He said, his tone and expression gone hard. He wouldn't listen to anymore of that.

Alycia: I don' do ultimatums, Zach. You KNOW that. So if that's what you're laying out now? You can FORGET IT. I don't have to like her, she's given me NO REASON to. Sharon and I don't have to respect her! She doesn't respect US! She's prejudiced, she's rude, she's messy! and after everything I've been through? After the way people around me have reminded me that things like FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, and LOYALTY are such...DISPOSABLE and temporary qualities? I'm NOT AFRAID to lose you over her. We're pretty much THERE already.

"You're saying all this because you're angry, but you'd better choose your words carefully, Alycia, because I'm not making empty threats here. I'm trying to make this friendship work, but if you can't stop yourself from disrespecting her, then mark my words, I'll stop myself from having to hear it."

Alycia: Ashley a BULLY, she thrives on conflict and violence, and she has antagonized Sharon and Myself for NO OTHER REASON than the fact that we are AMAZONS. Most OTHER people would call that what it is...PREJUDICE, but of course YOU won't think she can do ANYTHING wrong. You OVERLOOK the things SHE does, and magnify ANY transgression by myself, Sharon or Dominique, real OR imagined. ANY sane man that would pick HER? And claim that SHE is GOOD and decent? I certainly do QUESTION his judgement!

"You, Sharon, and Viv came tearing in here like women scorned, mad as hell about what CAMERON DID, proceeded to practically rip us out of bed half naked, and attacked us --verbally and physically-- for daring to comfort each other. You THOUGHT I was gonna be on YOUR SIDE after that?! Now I've made up with Viv, and Dominique, and I thought I made up with you two, but you're still trying to fight about it! Well I'm not laying down for this anymore, Aly! You want to question MY JUDGEMENT?! You aren't the only one with the right to ask questions, counselor."

Alycia: Are you REALLY trying me like this!?

She exclaimed, and fully set up to show him out, but he blocked her path.

"You know what? I'm very sorry that you and her got off to a bad start. I wish there was something I could do about it, but all I can do is try to convince you to give her a chance. The crazy part is, Ashley is willing to work on this issue. She even approached Isis and thanked her for healing me."

There was a long pause. Zach could see she was trying to work through it all, so he let her think.

Alycia: What an awful place this is for me to be. And all because I...trusted a man. All these stupid mistakes, tide to one choice...one man.

Zach clenched his fist. He knew she was referring to Cameron. He knew it was Cameron's fault she was so torn up.

That fucking bastard...

Zach was fighting mad again. If Cameron were here right now, there'd be another brawl. Alycia didn't deserve to be treated like that, cast aside like her feelings didn't matter, cheated on and betrayed.

Plus I owe him one for fucking up my Maserati.

Zach grit his teeth, knowing if he picked a fight with Cameron he'd end up being the bad guy again somehow.

Alycia: And now... I feel like I can't even do my job becuase I'm so off balance, and in so much pain!

She WAS in pain. He could feel it, searing in his chest, distracting him from his own rage.

Alycia: NO ONE in all of this has any regrets, except ME.

"Alycia...."

He said, his voice as quiet as hers. There was nothing more he could say, and beating Cameron wouldn't fix it either.

Alycia: The timing was all wrong...and now......well, I don't need to repeat it. You said it all. It was very considerate of you to come down here. I appreciate your care. I'm sorry for mistreating you....punishing you even. I'll change that.

"I don't like being at odds with you, Aly."

Alycia: We'll be fine.

She said, but he could feel her shutting down, buckling under that sadness. He couldn't stand it anymore, he reached for her. She shrugged him off.

Alycia: I need to rest now. I have to regroup...find a new way to get the smoking gun I need to put Nedry to bed.

She looked like she was fighting back tears. She was bottling it all up, but it'd be much healthier to release it. Zach tried to hug her, and she resisted.

"Alycia Barnett, for the love of the Gods, let me HELP you with this."

He demanded, a pulled her into a hug.

"Don't let Cameron be the reason you close yourself off, Aly. He's an asshole, and I know he hurt you. I could kick his ass for that. But just because HE didn't value you? Doesn't mean Xavier won't. He seems like a nice guy. You ought to give him a chance, let yourself move on from Cameron. And if it doesn't work with Xavier? There's somebody out there who's perfect for you."

 

[Artemis]

The clock tower- Alycia's floor

:: after several rounds of shouting, it was worth noting that Alycia didn't attack him OR physically throw him out, which meant that somewhere deep within, Zach was right, she wasn't as ready to close the door on him, not even because of Ashley. Eventually they seemed to be finding each other again, but Zach could tell Alycia was "looking" at him from a distance.::

"I don't like being at odds with you, Aly."

:: She bowed her head, and closed her eyes::

I don't want to be at odds with you either.

Why do you think I didn't attack you or THROW you out of here??

We'll be fine.

She said, but he could feel her shutting down, buckling under that sadness. He couldn't stand it anymore, he reached for her. She shrugged him off.

No...

I need to rest now. I have to regroup...find a new way to get the smoking gun I need to put Nedry to bed.

just get OUT of here...so I can grieve in PEACE...without you or anyone ELSE having to see me in this horrible, weak moment....

"Alycia Barnett, for the love of the Gods, let me HELP you with this."

He demanded, a pulled her into a hug.

...

no...

:: as he pulled her in, she resisted, but her heart and soul was not in the effort, because he was undetered. He hugged her, more tightly, she looked mortified for a moment, then she closed her eyes::

I can't....

:: the tears began to flow.::

"Don't let Cameron be the reason you close yourself off, Aly. He's an asshole, and I know he hurt you. I could kick his ass for that. But just because HE didn't value you? Doesn't mean Xavier won't. He seems like a nice guy. You ought to give him a chance, let yourself move on from Cameron. And if it doesn't work with Xavier? There's somebody out there who's perfect for you."

:: She was crying openly now, but poor Zach, he still didn't QUITE get it all. She was already "moving on" from Cameron...but not in the way he or anyone else would think. She was "moving" from where she'd been...to wanting REVENGE.>>

:: as she cried...her heart began to "freeze." forming around a new feeling.::

I...don't need a man....I need REVENGE.

::FLASH!::

<< SO even as Zach genuinely wanted to help her, by pulling some of the grief out of her (and he was doing that) a new seed had been planted. One that wouldn't show itself just now, or even "soon." It would grow slowly, and in the mind of someone who specialized in "Brilliant confrontation?" the fruit that this seed would bear could turn out to be QUITE DEADLY.>>

:: After a few moments of allowing herself to be held, she...returned Zach's embrace. ::

We won't be at odds, Zach. Just don't forget about US, all that we've been through, all that we've helped each other with, all that we've learned and shared with each other. Don't...forget.

Things will work out with Rose. After Nedry is stopped, you'll get to see Jake again.

:: She pulls away, and wipes the tears from her face, standing by the doors::

Thank you, goodbye....goodnight.

:: She smiled a bit Zach said goodbye, and the closed the doors after him.::

:: She turned around and made her way back further into the guest suite. She stood in silence for a moment. She felt less overwhelmed, less pained. She had a clearer mind. Zach had helped her, but he also unknowingly helped her get a clearer idea of what her true desire was.::

:: Perhaps she could enjoy Xavier, for whatever he was supposed to be. Everyone else around here got what they wanted, with HALF the effort that Alycia made, and LESS care about the consequences of their actions, so why SHOULDN'T she enjoy herself? BUT...::

It doesn't matter if I find someone "perfect."

I won't be happy...until Cameron and Haleigh SUFFER, until they BOTH are in PAIN.

:: the seed is planted...and her tears water it...and the root for revenge forms.::

<< one that we will check on later.>>